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Letter #68: Blue Bell, Boyfriends, Blogging

December 7, 2010

Dear relationships,

No, not talking about dating…yet. Why do I have so many love/hate ones of you? I feel like my life is filled with them. I love how I feel after I’ve gone on a run; I hate the process of making myself start. I love Chili’s chips and salsa and Blue Bell; I hate feeling like I’m going to throw up because I ate too much of them. I love clothes; I hate laundry. I love road trips; I hate getting gas. I love my nephews; I love dropping them off when they’re fussy (oh wait, love/hate…oops). I love being an early riser and getting a great start to my day; I hate rolling out of bed.

You name it, I could probably come up with something I love and hate about it. My greatest strengths are also my greatest weaknesses. I love and hate them all at the same time. Lately, my biggest love/hate one of you has been this daily, letter writing business. First of all, 68 days is the longest one of you I’ve been in since 8th grade…broke up with a Lawton boy to date a boy that lived two hours away. I forgot about him…oh yeah, not talking about you in a dating context!

You are my 68th letter and longest commitment I can remember making. In the midst of writing, I’ve loved you for many reasons; I’ve hated you for just as many. I started this blogging journey with six goals:

  • record my first year of real world
  • track my travels
  • deal with obstacles individually, publicly allow others to benefit
  • allow friends, family, Kamp family and strangers be part of my rookie season
  • build relationships through being personal and REAL
  • most importantly, make people laugh!!!

With the exception of number six, I’ve been pleased with my execution. I couldn’t tell you where I was a week ago: now I can. I can’t remember lessons I learned in October: now I can. My family and friends would be clueless on 75% of my life: now they’re not (assuming anyone reads this!).

However, with every benefit of doing this, there’s a downfall. When it’s 11:47 (or in most cases on the road 2 a.m.) and all I want to do is sleep, I hate you. When I haven’t been proactive with tomorrow’s post content, I hate you. When I have writer’s block and no desire to pen a letter, I hate you. When I’m too prideful to let myself fail in committing to do this, I hate you.

But, you always bring me back around. The benefits somehow always weigh out the junk. A comment will be made, a post will spark a great conversation, I’ll process something I never would have otherwise, or at the very least, I continue to learn consistency and discipline.

Somehow our darkest periods of life end up being our shining moments (hmmm….relation to Christ?!). Me dealing with you in a love/hate situation is obviously small, but I learn the most when I’m at my low. Keep teaching me how to find the good in situations even when I might hate it at the moment…if it weren’t for laundry, we’d never get to try to put cute outfits together!

LOVING and hating you,

Learner from starting a blog

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3 comments

  1. THIS is blogging at its finest.


  2. YOU CAN DO IIIIIITTTT!!! don’t give up.


  3. I read everyday…so I can say, as your sister, it is nice to be filled in on more of your life! Love the blog and YOU!



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