Letter #90: Dating as a Lifestyle

December 29, 2010

Dear dating,

I firmly believe you are a vital piece of a relationship whether it’s a month or 60 years old. I’ve been thinking a great deal about this and decided to incorporate it into my family’s Christmas presents. Rookie season of the real world means I’m learning a ton…specifically about finances. Key lesson: I don’t have much extra money. Realization: gifts needed to be creatively affordable. The brainstorming began. These are the people who love me unconditionally, and I wanted to make sure they knew how much I cared about them.

Here’s what I came up with (the letter included in their gift):

For whatever reason, I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately. Maybe because it intrigues me. Maybe because it scares the crap out of me. Maybe because I hope it is part of my life one day. I’m not really sure why, but somehow half of all marriages manage to fail in our society. This causes me to ask why and also means half succeed! I believe it’s rooted in several reasons, but I won’t bore you with all of them. However, in my opinion, one of the main reasons is directly related to the lack of pursuit post-marriage. We stop engaging with one another. We don’t want to get to know the depths of each other’s hearts. Guys work their tails off to impress, intrigue and inspire the girl they’re swooning in the dating phase…maybe even through the beginning of their marriage. Girls find ways to make their man laugh, smile and feel needed. Dates are often, fun and well planned. Somehow, as time goes on, life takes over and comfort sits in, people forget to continue the pursuit. We come home, turn on the TV, chase kids and never engage with one another. We don’t plan. We don’t pursue. We don’t engage.

Now let’s be honest, I don’t know a thing about marriage and really even dating. I have learned a ton through observation though, and I’m convinced I’m going to be a dang good girlfriend and wife one day! Nevertheless, as I was thinking about what on earth you needed for Christmas…well, none of us need anything, but I love you guys and wanted to get you something…this is what I came up with. Creative (and fairly cheap!) date ideas along with the best game in the world and dinner on me! My prayer is that you would continue to pursue each other like you did, even better than you did, when you started dating, but on an even more intimate level. My hope is that you would create unforgettable memories through this and teach your kids and grandkids how to date for a lifetime. My goal is for whatever schmuck I bring home eventually to learn how he better treat me the rest of my life! Let this be a catalyst to years, decades of the best dates you’ve ever been on. May joy be found in the pursuit of one another.

Merry Christmas!

(contents of gift include: Banagrams, five $1 bills for Red Box rentals with a bag of popcorn, restaurant gift card, the above letter and a packet of 30+ fun, creative date ideas)

You aren’t just a phase in the first few months of a relationship. You are a lifestyle. May marriages be overwhelmingly enhanced by your way of life.


Unsure if this was a good gift or if it was just a bunch of dates I’d want to go on,

Advocate of dating for life


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