Letter #181: Forget Shallow

March 30, 2011

Dear personal,

I often wonder if I divulge too much when I write, if I’m being too you. I don’t know that I necessarily air out all my dirty laundry here for everyone to read, but I definitely don’t do much sugar coating either. Before I began this blogging endeavor, I made a few goals. Yes, I’m a nerd, a visionary and a planner, and I need direction in my life. Making blogging goals was a simple way for me to achieve this!

With that being said, one of those goals involved me being real. I’m not very many things in life and I fall short in more areas than I’ll ever succeed in, but I strive to be honest, real, vulnerable and a woman of my word…maybe even to a fault. Realness is a character quality unable to be created, yet cherished by all. Think about it, we long for genuine friendships.

So, I write candidly. I try writing in a way that truly encompasses my perspective, my thought process, my feelings and my reality. I like to think that if I were an artist, I’d have one canvas. Whatever ended up on it had to become part of the final product. The flaws aren’t erased. They may be painted over and become part of the majesty later on, but at the moment, the mistake is the heartbeat of the painting. Welcome to my reality. Rather than erasing the mistakes, I try to take them in stride, be a little too you in a letter written for the world (or my smattering of followers :)) to see, learn from it and end up making decisions where new paint strokes make the mistake end up as greatness.

Sure, I censor myself to some degree. Nobody needs to know everything about me, the good or the bad. And no, I’m not comparing my writing and blog to a great piece of art. I am simply explaining and justifying my vulnerability to myself because I question it often. I’ve never watched the TV show, ‘Parenthood,’ in my life, but it’s my roommate’s favorite show. We watched it together last night and a line stuck with me. A character (I don’t know their names, but Lorelai from Gilmore Girls) wrote a play and her dad’s friend happened to have a background in Broadway. In reference to her play she mentions she put too much of you into it and needed to take some out. He responds sarcastically with something like this, “Take out the personal? Then, all you’ll have left is shallow.”

Here’s to avoiding shallow,

Striver of personal and real

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